COVID 19 Has Impacted Couples in the Bedroom

As the weeks drag onto months – even seasons – in this global pandemic, many of us find ourselves increasingly tempted to take back parts of our lives that disappeared last March. Gradually we have ventured more into stores and museums. We have dared to get our hair cut in salons and barber shops. We have taken vacations, possibly even flying to our intended destinations. We have even eaten inside restaurants.

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If you are in a committed relationship, you were the envy of many a single person who have molded in the air conditioning of their apartments and childhood bedrooms across the land over the past months. You may be thinking that this envy presumes opportunity amidst increased family responsibilities with schools and daycares closed and sufficient time with everyone but essential personnel working remotely, often, at home.

For essential personnel who have worked outside the home since the early days of the pandemic, there has been something new to consider from the very beginning: the risk of transmitting the virus to one’s family, roommates and sexual partners. As our bubbles changed over the past months, many of us joined essential personnel in needing to assess this possibility by considering the risk that is believed to be associated with certain activities, any precautions we undertook during a particular activity, and our awareness of any exposure to the virus as a result of participation in the activity when considering whether engaging in sex is even an option.

You may have wondered if all this talk about risk has impacted other couples in the same ways as you and your own committed partner. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University wasted no time in studying this very topic. Between March 21 and April 14, 2020, 1559 adults participated in an anonymous online survey. In the survey, participants indicated whether their sex life had improved, stayed the same or declined since the pandemic began. Frequency of solo masturbation, mutual masturbation, giving/receiving oral sex, vaginal intercourse, and anal intercourse during the preceding 12 months and, then, since the pandemic had begun were rated on a 7-point scale ranging from never to more than once in a day. Sexual desire for one’s partner in the preceding two weeks and overall sexual desire in the preceding two weeks was also rated. Study participants completed a 49-item checklist of new sexual behaviors that they had participated in since the pandemic began. Participants also completed assessments of stress and loneliness.

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Just in case you were wondering, this study empirically documents a reduction, on average, in the frequency of sexual behaviors. This finding was consistent with age, socio-economic status and gender. A statistically significant number of adults in the study reported that they had not masturbated or participated in partnered sexual behaviors since the pandemic began.

While possibly these results are not that astounding, what is possibly more interesting is that additions to the sexual repertoire were reported among 20% of the study participants. Increased stress and loneliness were linked to these behaviors. The most common of these new additions included: trying new sexual positions, sexting, sending nude photos, sharing sexual fantasies, watching pornography, searching for sex-related information online, having cybersex, filming oneself masturbating and acting on sexual fantasies. Among those in committed relationships trying new sexual positions and acting on sexual fantasies ranked highest. Study participants who added new behaviors were more likely to report that their sex life had actually improved since the start of the pandemic.

It seems that sex is not dead yet, despite COVID 19. And, while a variety of new sexual behaviors were reported in the study, the behavior with the highest score was trying a new sexual position.

Lehmiller, J.J. , Garcia, J.R., Gesselman, A.N. & Mark, K.P. (2020). Less sex, but more sexual diversity: Changes in sexual behavior during the COVID-19 Coronavirus Pandemic. Leisure Sciences, DOI: 10.1080/01490400.2020.1774016 (Retrieved September 30, 2020).