Menopause Treatment
Menopause comes along at an incredibly complex time of life. Hormonal changes may be at the root of many of the physical changes that occur. But there are a host of emotional and relational changes occurring simultaneously. Women often feel overwhelmed by competing demands for their limited time and energy. This sense of overwhelm adds weight to the physical and mental health symptoms of menopause. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
The Perfect Storm
Since many women now postpone committed relationships and family life into their 30’s, menopause now tends to coincide with children launching into adulthood. During midlife, parents and extended family members who may have been a source of wonderful support for many years, begin to present with new physical and mental health challenges that can add weight to a woman’s daily responsibilities. Intimate partnerships that were once strong may have decayed during the years of ballet recitals and baseball practices. And careers that sustained family life and commitments may have grown stale or in other instances become unsustainable as children complete high school and move on towards college and the work force.
For many women, midlife is just plain hard. Women are asked to run harder and faster with fewer personal resources. Many find that they are experiencing more frequent anger and irritability, increased anxiety and panic attacks, greater forgetfulness and brain fog, loss of self-esteem and self-confidence as well as sadness and depression. Unfortunately, all of these mental and emotional experiences then become additional items to manage in an already full life.
Sleeping Well Can Be Hard
The poor sleep that is common during menopause really doesn’t help much either. These sleep difficulties may include problems falling asleep and staying asleep as well as waking up too early, not feeling refreshed from a night’s rest, or feeling unusually tired or irritable during the day. All of these add fuel to the fires of irritability, low mood, anxiety and panic. Quite simply, quality of life is impacted when we don’t get proper sleep regularly.
And certainly we are all aware of the hot flashes that mark the menopausal season. Your primary care provider or gynecologist may be able to help alleviate these with hormone replacement therapy (HRT). But few women escape the fires of menopause unscathed. Waking up in the night in drenched sheets and jammies grows old fast.
Mood Changes are Common
The hormonal changes associated with menopause can trigger depression and low mood in some women. While you may be accustomed to “powering through,” this is a time of life that it’s important to pay extra attention to your mental health. Sometimes other people have to call attention to the fact that we don’t seem quite like ourselves. Certainly, if you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or others, you should seek immediate medical attention. As you may be already aware, in less severe cases depression may present as feelings of continuous sadness, irritability, guilt, hopelessness, tiredness, low energy, tearfulness, anxiety, intolerance, low frustration, low self-confidence and low self-esteem.
If you are experiencing these depressed feelings, you may find that you are not enjoying activities that normally make you feel happy. You may be indecisive. You may have difficulty concentrating or find that you are forgetful. You may have lost interest in sex and intimacy with your partner. You may find that you just don’t have the same ability to get things done on your to-do list. You may be experiencing changes in appetite and/or weight. Or, you may have otherwise unexplained physical aches and pains.
Depression and low mood can start small and gather steam as they spread impact throughout your life. This is why it’s so important to pay attention to your symptoms at this time of life and be proactive. Sometimes you can improve your symptoms with making an effort to improve sleep, diet and exercise habits. But other times professional intervention in the form of medication or counseling is truly necessary.
Your Body Is Different
Obviously, you know intellectually that you are getting older. But connecting this awareness to true acceptance of your body as it is today – and how it has changed from how it was or how you expected it would be at this age – is another thing entirely.
For some women, the end of the child-bearing years contributes to a significant change in identity and how they see themselves in the world. Being able to carry and birth a child is central to their sense of who they are as a woman. There is sadness that this season has passed. These feelings may be greater in women who have experienced infertility changes or perinatal losses.
For other women, the struggles with their body centers more upon appearance. The natural increase in fat around the abdomen and bloating that is part of menopause for many women can impact body image and trigger previously dormant body dysmorphia. Working to accept your new midlife body can be easier said than done. This is a good time to treat yourself to physical experiences that are nurturing. But finding the time to devote to these personal needs can be hard to come by due to competing life responsibilities.
Sexual Needs Change
Much has been written about how sex and physical intimacy are impacted by menopause. Factually speaking, lower estrogen levels contribute to vaginal dryness, thinning tissues, lower arousal and reduced libido. For many women, this leads quite naturally to sexual encounters that are more likely to be painful and a general sense of reduced sexual satisfaction.
Certainly there products and therapies – including HRT – to help alleviate this. But this also means that women are facing another aspect of life that is impacted, another part of life that requires exploration and experimentation in order to become more satisfying. And for many women, the lack of time, interest and motivation in putting these items on their personal agendas can, in the meantime, contribute to difficulties in their relationships with their partners. It’s not the whole story, but continuing issues with sex and intimacy become a part of the many things left unsaid, unaddressed, unresolved over a lifetime together in a committed relationship.
The House Is So Quiet
Women who have devoted significant time and energy to raising children may be caught off guard by all the changes they are expected to absorb at the same time. When menopause and the Empty Nest collide, a silent home may add significantly to questions about identity and purpose. The answers to these questions may not be immediately apparent, which can create frustration. Depression may creep in. Allowing yourself the time to explore opportunities and options in this new season of life needs to be prioritized. Finding the time and motivation to do this can prove illusive.
Questions?
What If I Don’t Know Where To Begin?
Complexity is the norm at midlife. There may be no clearly defined date when it all started to feel like too much. Every woman has her own intersecting variables. But what we share at this life stage is overwhelming responsibilities from multiple directions simultaneously and personal physical and mental health changes which make managing these responsibilities more challenging.
Can Anyone Possibly Understand How Crazy My Life Is?
I have been there and have come out on the other side. For a moment, I wasn’t sure I could handle everything that was coming at me at once. I made it through. You can do it too.