Maybe it’s the unrelenting exhaustion during the first trimester. Or the waves of nausea that persist way too long. It could be the juggling of regular doctor’s appointments in a packed work and social calendar – something that may have never happened to you before. Or maybe its the swelling, the joint pain and the difficulty sleeping in the latter weeks and months that get to you. There could be lots of different reasons why, at some point in your pregnancy, you realize that you have gotten yourself deep into a situation that feels larger than you imagined. This situation is different from the beginning. It asks of you. It takes from you. And you yield, mostly willingly, though often without explicit consent. In this way pregnancy teaches from the start that you are going to be asked to give of yourself in unexpected ways in your new life as a mom.
As the days and weeks of your pregnancy pass, you start to think about what may be needed to welcome the baby at the house. You may start asking your employer about how many days and weeks will you be allotted for maternity leave. You may start talking with your partner about how many weeks of parental leave their employer provides and begin discussing how you can piece this together with your own maternity leave to meet your anticipated child care needs.
Once the baby arrives you may see your new life as a mom with a different perspective. Yes, you heard the stories from friends who had traveled the path before you. But quite possibly, before the baby came, you countered these stories by reassuring yourself that you are a capable person and surely you will be able to figure this out. But after the baby is born, maybe after a night spent awake feeding and soothing, there may be more questions and doubts. You may have found yourself wondering: How am I going to go back to work and still do all of this?
A step-by-step plan and a community to support you is the answer. Because there is a lot to think about and put together. That part is real. And you may not really be in a place to fully appreciate this until after you are holding your little one. Finding quality childcare – your most obvious need – is just one step in the process but so complex unto itself. Which childcare arrangement will work best for you and your work schedule? What feels most comfortable to you? The answers are personal. There is no perfect solution that fits all circumstances, no path to follow with a certain outcome. You may experience trial and error. You may initially choose one childcare arrangement and discover that for some reason it is not coming together as cleanly as you expected or something about does not feel right for you, your child, or your work schedule.
There are a host of other things to consider. Your own physical and mental health needs should top the list, but often get bypassed on the way to other steps like figuring out your pumping plan and your work schedule. And what about your partner. How do they figure into this? What roles can they assume and can you let this go after quite possibly doing all of it in the weeks that you are home on maternity leave?
There are other moms just like you who are making these difficult decisions. Just like you, they are putting together all the pieces of a successful back to work plan. And together, there is strength and support. There is a community that will carry you forward through the ups and downs of starting back to work as a new mom.
Click here to learn more about bouncing back after baby.