When you first separate, and you or soon-to-be Ex files for divorce, it can seem like things are moving very quickly. But it can take a year or more for your case to wind its way through the court system. Without ongoing support, you may become frustrated and start to believe “the Judge should decide.”

Even if you are the person who initiated the breakup, it is still normal to vacillate between feeling you definitely did the right thing in separating to questioning yourself and your choices. Ambivalence about the separation is a common experience for many people.

The intense anger of divorce can act as an important counterbalance to sadness and despair. Allowing yourself to experience anger and channeling this feeling into arenas where there is less possibility for negative repercussion can help you heal. 

Sadness, to some degree, is a normal part of the divorce process. It’s important to seek help in the form of medication or talking to a divorce counselor if the sadness becomes depression and continues for more than a week or two.

Therapy during divorce can provide you with a regular time and place in your busy week of to-do’s to slow it all down.  A place to sift through all the advice.  A place to say all the things you can’t say anywhere else.  A place to quiet all the noise, hear your own inner voice and, from there, act purposefully and decisively.