When silence is used to manage conflict in an intimate partnership, misunderstanding and increased emotional distance are likely. Stonewalling in relationships can also cause one or both partners to experience anxiety or depression, and may lead ultimately to separation.
As mothers we are biologically programmed to take care of the needs of everyone in the family. But we need to make space for taking good care of ourselves too. This starts with assuring our basic needs are met everyday.
Technology enables moms to multitask more easily but more is expected of modern parents. Even in households espousing gender equality, women tend to take on more of the childcare and household responsibilities, as well as the corresponding mental load. Dads can ease this burden by taking more initiative and following through.
Motherhood is often not what we understood or imagined it would be based upon our observations of our own mothers. While growing up, we often failed to see the behind the scenes work and effort that we now experience first hand.
For couples, having a shared, overarching parenting style greatly reduces opportunities for conflict. Children, in turn, benefit from the safety and security that a “united front” provides. Taking the time to discuss parenting issues as they arise can be a the pathway to preserving the relationship despite disagreements about parenting.
Triangulation occurs whenever a third person intervenes or is drawn into a conflict between two individuals. The third person may become part of the situation unwittingly, may make a conscious choice to intervene, or may be drawn in skillfully by one of the two people who had the original disagreement.
