As mothers we are biologically programmed to take care of the needs of everyone in the family. But we need to make space for taking good care of ourselves too. This starts with assuring our basic needs are met everyday.
Being on your phone instead of listening when your partner is speaking as well using phones and cameras to monitor your partner’s activities are examples of how technology enters relationships. Our phones and other devices can interfere with intimacy and also help us avoid difficult conversations.
Sometimes following separation there is a hurdle in beginning to use the term, “The Ex,” when referring to your former husband or wife. There may be a journey towards speaking these words aloud, with support coming from colleagues, friends, family - even strangers - who have walked the path of separation before you.
Sometimes new or expectant mothers see media coverage of tragic loss in the postpartum and become concerned about “getting” postpartum depression. It’s important to talk to your providers and learn about local community resources for postpartum women.
Valentine’s Day can cause you to reassess where you are in terms of intimate relationships. Anxiety can creep in as friends find partners. Staying true to yourself, letting go of relationships that truly aren’t working, and remaining open to all the possibilities around you can lead you to your own special person.
After baby arrives, the nature and extent of your social connections take on a whole new meaning. Becoming a mother can open a whole new world with different venues to explore, new topics of conversation, and a seemingly endless array of new things to do. But there can be comfort in reaching back to former support networks too.
For many new mothers, the excitement of the birth is overshadowed by a sense of loss in the postpartum. Some mothers miss being pregnant. Others feel the loss of certain aspects of their life before the baby including the ability to focus on career, the capacity to meet up spontaneously with friends and the intimacy in their relationships.
Co-parents can reach agreements regarding how new significant others will be introduced to the children. These provisions stem from a recognition that each family member will adjust to the separation at a different pace. While these agreements require effort and compromise, they can reduce conflict.
Family law matters that include allegations of a history of domestic violence pose difficult challenges for the court system. Usually both parents are eventually awarded parenting time. For victims, getting support to heal from their experiences in the relationship and to cope with these realities of co-parenting can be a lifeline.
